7 Tips for Hairstylist from Hell Yeah or No by Derek Sivers
I happen to be a bit of a self help junkie, but I am not the biggest fan of over-productive hustle culture; which unfortunately tends to go hand-in-hand with self help content. I came across Hell Yeah or No in a Youtube video dealing with how to best manage your time, and granted I didn't find the video itself useful, this book recommendation caught my attention.
I believe in the philosophy that as a new hair professional you need to pay your dues. You don't owe anyone anything, but you do owe it to yourself to get as many experiences as you can. Be it an apprenticeship (or several) or saying yes to every client that comes your way, regardless of if it's something you are interested in or not. There is a lot of power in trying everything and eventually it helps you get a feel for what lights a fire for you and you start to find your own voice and style. This approach will lead you to some sort of a tipping point; As you bolster your clientele and start to put out consistently good work, it becomes more important to be conscious of the most limited resource you have, your time. Once you’re in a place where your bills are paid, you can start to choose the clients that best represent your style and align with your aesthetic.
In the title of the book alone I found the concept of “Hell Yes or No”, resonates with being a hairstylist. If it isn't a resounding “Hell Yes” then it may not be worth your time. Whether you want to specialize in a specific technique or just want to do more of a particular style, being selective with what work you choose is the best way to utilize your time and increase your value as a hairstylist.
Derek Sivers is a musician and entrepreneur who in his book Hell Yes or No shares short anecdotes that provide nuggets of useful information. His emphasis is on understanding what’s worth doing, and fixing faulty thinking. If I'm being honest, I initially felt as though this book was very self indulgent and I had trouble looking past how every lesson tied back to how it affected himself vs. the message he was trying to convey. I was pleasantly surprised to find a lot of useful tips that apply directly to hairdressing like adapting your mindset and creating healthy business practices. I was especially surprised when I read a chapter that acknowledges the way people tend to react to his stories; focusing on his examples over the message he is trying to share. I didn't find anything super profound in this book, but I don't really think that was the point. I'm excited to share what I've gotten from this book. I marked well over the 7 tips I’m sharing here, some of which I will share at the end of the article in case you choose to grab this book for yourself.
These are the 7 ideas from Hell Yes or No I found most applicable as a hairstylist and the lessons they taught me. They may not all relate directly to your technique or practical skill but they are useful lessons for a successful life in general, both behind the chair and not.
1. If you’re not feeling “Hell Yeah!” then say no.
In this titular chapter Sivers focuses on clearing space for the opportunities you actually want by saying yes to less. “Saying no makes your yes more powerful”. This is an exceptionally powerful concept as a hairstylist who is trying to find their voice. If you want to exclusively be a blonde specialist, you need to say yes to more clients who want to be blonde. Inversely, this means saying no to those who want something else. It is much easier said than done, but it is helpful to frame it in the sense that there are other stylists who are more suited in what they are looking for. Rather than telling them you are not interested in them, working with them to find a good referral will help build rapport with you as a hairstylist with them and whoever you refer them to. It still requires a level of tact to maneuver through becoming selective about your clientele, the last thing you want to do is make someone feel bad. By working with them to find what suits their needs, you are opening the door for the client, and yourself. With time, this practice will help win a dream clientele for you, as those who admire your work will be coming to you for what you do well, as opposed to hoping you can do whatever they are looking for.
2. Tilting my mirror (Motivation is delicate).
This chapter goes over a story that Sivers shares about losing motivation to go on a gorgeous drive with his family because driving quickly makes his child sick and the cars behind him stress him out when he drives slowly. His solution is to tilt his rearview mirror upwards so he can’t see the cars behind him, and drive slowly so his kid doesn't feel car sick; albeit inconvenient to others, he enjoys his time more. The lesson I gathered from this is more figurative than literal. I hate the feeling I get when I'm running a few minutes behind and my next client walks in and greets me. I find myself starting to rush and ponder about what I'm doing with the next client. Not only do I dislike having to rush but it also distracts from the experience of my current client, who still deserves my full attention and focus. Regardless of running behind, it is still time they are paying for. It is great mental practice to acknowledge you are running a little behind with the next client, and tilt your own ‘mental rearview mirror’ up. Actively focus on finishing your current client to the best of your ability and successfully complete the experience for the client, instead of pushing them along to get to the next one. Trust me, your full attention and being thorough goes a long way with client retention and satisfaction. Both clients will appreciate your honesty, transparency, and dedication to giving them the best service possible.
3. Obvious to you. Amazing to others.
I do anywhere from 5-10 blowouts on any given day. It is easy to forget that for a client who doesn’t do hair, it is a lot harder to give yourself a great blowout than to go to a salon and have someone else do it. I find myself falling into a routine and doing the same thing over and over again, yet I will hear from my own private clients that they cannot ever get a blowout like the one I give them. It reminds me that although I may feel like I am not exceptional, I still provide value to someone else. As Sivers explains; “So maybe what's obvious to me is amazing to someone else?” The client will most likely not have the training and experience that you do, so don't be afraid to show them a technique you like to use often or a product you would recommend. Don’t assume the client will not receive value from what you bring to the table just because it feels common to you, like Sivers states “Are you holding back something that seems too obvious to share?”
4. How to do what you love and make good money
This chapter covers finding balance between your heart and your mind. Finding a job that pays well, as well as being passionate and improving in your art. Hairstylists are unique in this situation because for a lot of us, our work is our art. They are best aligned when you get to be creative and expressive AND it pays your bills. The takeaway for me is having self control. Find creativity and inspiration in your art, but prioritize not thinking about your job once you go home. Being a hairstylist, we naturally break Sivers rule of “Don’t try to make your job your whole life. Don't try to make your art your sole income.” For a hairstylist, we may lose sight of the artistic aspect of our jobs especially if we’re focused on paying the bills. If you find yourself in a rut of doing client after client and feeling unfulfilled creatively, send out a model call to do something you've really wanted to do, and do it for the love of it. You will be surprised at how much value you get out of it and you never know what other creative opportunities that experience could bring.
5. Learning the lesson, Not the example.
I struggled through this book because I couldn't shake the feeling that I would not get along with Sivers as a person and I found it distracting as he writes strictly in his own perspective and from a first-person voice. That was until he explains in this chapter to learn to read metaphorically. In music lessons he was resistant to having to read business books yet was surprised at the value he got from those books when he applied them to his music career. This is exactly the same system I live by and the reason I even started a blog. This is the concept I use over and over again that I call Thinking Like a Hairstylist. In any lesson, regardless of the subject, if you add the intention of learning from it, and applying it to your own career, you may be surprised in what unique ways you improve in your business. This is how you become a high value hairstylist; by making each opportunity a moment to refine your craft. We run the risk of ignoring so many helpful tools and practices because it isn't presented specifically as hair education. I hope this article alone can convince you of the value of thinking like a hairstylist.
6. After 15 Years of Practice
There are some outstanding hair artists out there, especially in today’s culture of social media where we get the best view of them at all times. It can be so easy to feel discouraged when you see someone recently out of beauty school putting out some phenomenal work. The best lesson I've learned is from veteran hairstylists who taught me that talent is one thing but consistency is the most important thing for you, your business, and your clients. Sivers shares about always wanting to be a singer but constantly being told he is not meant to sing and being denied the opportunity. As years in his music career passed, Sivers took every opportunity to learn and practice singing and eventually he was playing live shows to thousands and considered himself a great singer. The same absolutely goes with hair. It is the most important thing to stay consistent, try your best, and to not compare yourself to others, (regardless of how long they have been doing it.) It may sound redundant but if you find that you are not feeling encouraged by your peers, remind yourself that it is not a race. The only person who can measure your success is you. Talent shows when you have clients coming back because you really listen to them and deliver what they ask every single time, and they refer you to their network because they trust you and see the value of your work.
7. If you think you haven’t found your passion…
One of the greatest challenges I faced becoming a hairstylist was trying to figure out what kind of hair I enjoyed doing and what work I wanted to represent me. I find a lot of pride in finding a voice and working on doing what fulfills me most instead of choosing something safe. I was told time and time again that color is where the money is at, but I ultimately knew I would be a lot happier focusing on cutting and styling. It's a scary thing to follow your heart, but what if you don't even know what your passion is? Sivers says “just notice what excites you and what scares you on a small moment-to-moment level.” Leaning into what gets you excited will show you what fuels your fire. After having many experiences behind the chair I was able to get a feel for what I wanted to spend my time doing. Sivers also acknowledges that if you think you haven't found your passion, you may expect it to be overwhelming. That's just it, you won't know what you love to do until you do it, and in hairdressing that is just something that happens slowly and over time. Eventually you will find your voice and see what value you bring. It's all about experimenting and doing the best you can with every client. When you completely kill a look and the client is elated at the work you did, that high will show you what brings you the most satisfaction behind the chair.
The most value I received from this book was the emphasis as a stylist to be wise with your time. There are only so many hours in the day, so while it is important to say yes and work hard, there is a balance to feeling fulfilled in your work as a business and as an art form. Gather and learn from all the experiences you have but remember to find the passion among the work that will keep you motivated creatively.
These are just a few of the many lessons I took from reading this book through the lens of a hairstylist. Below I've included a link to Siver's book as well as some additional chapters that I reflected on and found some value from.
“Character predicts your future” p. 22
“There's no speed limit” p.46
“Unlikely places and Untangled goals” p.53
“Switch Strategies” p. 65
“I assume i'm below average” p.70
“Unlearning” p.104
“Seeking Inspiration?” p. 127